Your Wildest Dreams

Listen while you read:  The Moody Blues

Once upon a time
Once when you were mine
I remember skies
Reflected in your eyes
I wonder where you are
I wonder if you think about me
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

Once the world was new
Our bodies felt the morning dew
That greets the brand new day
We couldn't tear ourselves away
I wonder if you care
I wonder if you still remember
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

And when the music plays
And when the words are touched with sorrow
When the music plays
I hear the sound I had to follow
Once upon a time

Once beneath the stars
The universe was ours
Love was all we knew
And all I knew was you
I wonder if you know
I wonder if you think about it
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

And when the music plays
And when the words are touched with sorrow
When the music plays
I hear the sound I had to follow
Once upon a time

Once upon a time
Once when you were mine
I remember skies
Mirrored in your eyes
I wonder where you are
I wonder if you think about it
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

~  Justin Hayward (The Moody Blues)

Hey, Pete. I heard this song the other day in the car, and I have to admit that I had a bit of trouble focusing on driving. But don't worry, I pulled myself together; I'm pretty good at doing that. Sure, it's a bit harder at this time of year, even after all this time. Was it really fifteen years ago tonight? Oh, I remember it so well, how you waited until we were all there in the room. We laughed about something, and that was the moment that you chose to leave. It was Katrina who noticed the change in your breathing. We gathered around you, said what we had to say, and then you were gone. I wonder if you still remember?

So this song, an old Moody Blues' number from 1986, is on an album called The Other Side of Life. How fitting, since I guess that's where you are. I have to say that I am comforted when you come back over to this side to visit me in dreams. In those early years, it seemed that you were always sick and weak when you appeared in those dreams. But now, you appear healthy and strong, looking just as I choose to remember you, once upon a time. I am always surprised to realize that you would be 60 now! (The dream-you is 40-ish. You're still so damn handsome, babe!)

Pete, your kids are amazing! Of course, my heart breaks whenever I let myself go to the "what if?" place. But I know you are with them. I see it in their environmentalism, their compassion, their work ethic, and their smarts. I see it in Katrina when she tries to philosophize about the imperfections of the Universe. I see it in Jenna when she explores the wonders of the natural world and finds her peace there. And I see it in Sam when he hikes a mountain or solves an ecological problem or puts his complete faith in the Mets every spring. You are in their smiles, their tears, their hopes, and yes, their wildest dreams.

And I'm doing okay. It took a long time, but I've found someone who loves me. I think you'd like him! He's smart, kind, liberal, and affectionate. We share a love of music, politics, road trips, and happy hours. Yeah, you'd like him!

Once upon a time
Once when you were mine
I remember skies
Mirrored in your eyes
I wonder where you are
I wonder if you think about it
Once upon a time
In your wildest dreams

I remember, Pete.