Attics of My Life

Listen while you read:  Grateful (but not) Dead (yet)

In the attics of my life
Full of cloudy dreams unreal
Full of tastes no tongue can know
And lights no eye can see
When there was no ear to hear
You sang to me

I have spent my life
Seeking all that's still unsung
Bent my ear to hear the tune
And closed my eyes to see
When there were no strings to play
You played to me

In the book of love's own dreams
Where all the print is blood
Where all the pages are my days
And all my lights grow old
When I had no wings to fly
You flew to me
You flew to me

In the secret space of dreams
Where I dreaming lay amazed
When the secrets all are told
And the petals all unfold
When there was no dream of mine
You dreamed of me

~  Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia (for The Grateful Dead)

So what are attics for? I guess basically, attics are a place to put stuff. Things that are no longer used or needed (but could be again one day). Things that are seasonal, like holiday decorations. Things that have sentimental value, things that one just can't say goodbye to. Let's go with the last one. Today, I am tasked with saying goodbye to this blog, and consequently, saying goodbye to those of you who have honored me by reading it. But don't worry, I'm not going to kick the blog or you to the curb. I'm going to store this memory upstairs, in the attic of cloudy dreams unreal. Sure, it's a little crowded up there, but I'll find room.

This beauty of a song appears, appropriately, on The Grateful Dead's fifth studio album, American Beauty, which came out in 1970. It remains to this day my favorite Dead album. Aside from the gorgeous harmonies, the song tugs at the heartstrings with Robert Hunter's profound lyrics. I have spent my life / Seeking all that's still unsung / Bent my ear to hear the tune / And closed my eyes to see. Well, you can just put that on my tombstone. (Make that a metaphoric tombstone, okay?)

I am well aware that, as expected, my readership fluctuated throughout the year. A couple of things I learned: There were more "views" of posts of older songs; I guess people prefer the familiar to the new. And the pictures I selected to accompany the posts seemed to be a factor in whether or not someone was going to spend the time reading the post. Stock photos did not garner as much attention as personal photos. These are just inconsequential observations. But there's an important observation that I want to acknowledge. Although I dislike using the word "loyal" here, there were a few of you who, by your "likes" or comments, let me know that you were following the blog nearly every day. So I want to give a shout-out to Rachel, Nora, Mary, Ron, Michael, Robert, Amy, Laurie, Gene, Allison, Allyn, Jack, Marilyn, Cheryl, Jim, Lois, Jane, Wendy, Jeannine, Janet, Korey, and Mary Ann. (And I apologize if I missed anyone.) You warmed my heart every day.

So, after 365 days of choosing a song, doing some research, finding a video link, typing the lyrics, waxing philosophical, scheduling the publication, and posting the link on Facebook . . . all by 4:00 every day, I am ready for a break! (I wonder how long it will take before I no longer react to the clock? "It's 4:00! I have to post my blog!") Will I miss it? Yeah, I'll miss the connection. One thing I won't miss, however, is trying to figure out if I've already used a song! (As far as I know, I did not use the same song twice.) I will find other creative pursuits to take up my time, and they may or may not include writing. One thing is for sure: whatever I am doing, there will always be music playing.

And so, goodbye to this blog, where all the pages are my days. To my readers, I will employ my grandmother's advice: "Never say goodbye. 'So long' means you'll see each other again."

So long!