45th of November

Listen while you read:  No, it wasn't a typo.

No matter when it comes
One thing sure, it comes too soon
Fame, death, love all find us
Never quite prepared or in tune

You hunger through the years
For the proper combinations to appear
At long, long last, it's crystal clear
You really cannot get there from here

Others seem to know when to make their moves

But that may not be true
More likely, they're as hungry as you
For the moment, everything clicks
The fat lady's tiger rolls and does his tricks

45th of November
26:10 on the clock
In the future, we won't remember
What will they make of such talk?

Feed me sweet lemon wine
Squeeze the juice from the peel
Playing strip poker with time
And it's your turn to deal

45th of November . . . 
Remember the day

~  Kyle Hollingsworth (with some help from Robert Hunter) for String Cheese Incident

I occasionally tune into JamOn radio when I'm driving, and I can be pretty certain that I will be listening to a song by String Cheese Incident relatively soon. Beyond that, I don't know a lot about this jam band, but I usually like what I hear.  Three days into November, I looked for songs to celebrate this month and came upon this one. I found the title intriguing. "45th of November" appears on 2005's One Step Closer.

On one level, the song provides a commentary on the quick passing of time. It's November already? As much as I would like to welcome and enjoy every month, every season, that shortening of days presents a problem. We will be changing the clocks in a couple of days, and darkness will descend upon us an hour earlier. How did this happen? I don't think I'm ready. Are you?

But on another, deeper level, the song speaks to the meaning of life. What is it that we are in search of? What is it that will make this existence worthwhile? What do we want? And why, when we think we've achieved what it is we thought we wanted, does something else grab our attention and become the next thing to desire? I remember, as a 7-year old, wanting a two-wheeler for Christmas. It was a rite of passage to graduate from a tricycle to a bicycle. And even though Santa brought me a 24" bike (instead of the desired 26"), that Royce Union two-wheeler saw me through my bike-riding years, decorated with handlebar streamers, a basket, and baseball cards attached to the spokes with clothespins.

And then, as childhood turned into adolescence, the bicycle stayed in the garage and I turned my attention to the coveted driver's license. And it went on like this for my entire life, as it likely has for yours, too. We spend our lives hungering for the proper combinations to appear. Car, career, marriage, house, family. I acquired all that. Now what?

I'm still hungry. Perhaps my hunger has gone beyond material things, but one thing I know for sure is that I have not milked everything I want from this life. Complacency is my enemy. I am still on a spiritual search. I am still afraid of losing something or someone I love. I still have a bucket list which is now overflowing. And it's 26:10 on the clock.

And it's my turn to deal.