Darkness of the Dream

Listen while you read: Darkness of the Dream

And so I'd stumble in the light
The night was always there
To end all repetition

Insane? I bother with the blinds
Carry on and love will be here

I met this girl from my old town
But sadly she could see
I'm still a bunch of memories
And shit that I believe

And suddenly the rain is the only part you feel

And there's the darkness of the dream
And there's the darkness of the dream
. . . 

~  Kristian Matsson (The Tallest Man on Earth)

Dreaming is fascinating. And frightening. Always fun to ponder the idea that reality is the dream, and the dreaming is what's real. That might be cool . . . if it wasn't that dreaming is often so dark.

Kristian Matsson is a Swedish folksinger who goes by the moniker The Tallest Man on Earth. And if that causes you to conjure up visions of giants, consider that he is 5'8". (Being height-challenged, I have always hated the culture that tells us taller is better. Nonsense.) "Darkness of the Dream" appears on The Tallest Man on Earth's fourth release, 2015's Dark Bird Is Home. Matsson has been compared to Bob Dylan, Pete Seeger, and others, but he insists that he is not emulating anyone. It's just how he writes his songs. While his songs are quite poetic, it may be his unique voice that grabs your attention. The video linked above might grab your attention, too. It has a certain dark beauty to it.

Tired from gardening, I fell asleep early last night, and dreams were abundant. A pleasant moment of summer grass and slow kisses was suddenly interrupted by a JetBlue pilot asking me if I was ready to board. I told him my flight wasn't until 6:30 that evening. He said that he'd sent me several letters informing me that the flight would be departing at 1:20, and everybody was waiting for me to board. And then I realized that I hadn't even packed yet. The slow kisses evaporated into the dreamy air as I worked myself into a panic about what to do. Welcome to the darkness of the dream.

But it was just a dream. This morning's scroll through my Facebook newsfeed revealed another kind of darkness. A former student, a friend, enigmatically sent out an SOS. The subsequent commentary revealed his contemplation of ending his life. I added my comment to the others, trying simultaneously to acknowledge his pain while encouraging him to work through it. We all do that. But don't we also wonder if maybe, just maybe, there is light somewhere else?

The summer is deep and the memories still
The garden is full and I'm way over the hills
I see there's a line that I'm walking
And I'm just the same
It's an endless game
In the darkness of the dream