Always Sad

Listen while you read: Always Sad

You ain't like those other girls
There's nothing like you in this world
You got something more than curls
You ain't like those other girls

You ain't like those other guys
There's something different in your eyes
You got something hard to find
You ain't like those other guys

I think I'm always sad
I think I'm always sad
I think I'm always gonna be sad
'Cause you're the best I've ever had

A million miles between us now
Why can't we just work things out?

I think I'm always sad
I think I'm always sad
I think I'm always gonna be sad
'Cause you're the best I've ever had

~ Jim & William Reid (for The Jesus and Mary Chain)

The Jesus and Mary Chain is another one of those bands I missed while I was busy birthin' babies back in the mid-80s to early 90s. When James Mercer referenced them in The Shins' recent release "Mildenhall" (see my post from March 23), I became curious. And then, as if the Universe heard my question, The Reid brothers released their first album since 1998. Damage and Joy came out a couple of months ago, and "Always Sad" is getting quite a bit of play on my music sources. Jim Reid is joined by guest vocalist Bernadette Denning on this track. Despite the word "sad" in the song, it's really a kind of poppy, upbeat, catchy song. And I like that contrast. I like the simplicity of the lyrics in a jangly, rockin' production. Yep, I like this song.

Since returning home a week ago, I found myself in a state of melancholy bordering on malaise. Trying to figure out why only exacerbated the sadness, and I've been at a loss how to shake myself out of it. Simply put, I'm in a funk. Seeking out some close friends to discuss this with helped to put some perspective on it, but it didn't get rid of the overwhelming introspection. Perhaps that's why this song has so much appeal to me right now.

I think I'm always gonna be sad.  Yes. So I've been thinking about our expectation that we're always supposed to be sad's opposite. Always happy? Seriously? Talk about unrealistic expectations! Seems more likely to me that sadness is our natural state. It's like when you're deep in contemplation of something compelling and someone commands you to "Smile!" as if you've been doing something wrong. I hate that. Those occasional run-ins with happiness are only made more delightful when they are the exception rather than the rule.

I often return to the Buddhist philosophy of the duality of opposites. In order to know happiness, one must know sadness. So rather than continuing to try to shake myself out of this melancholia, I am going to embrace it, to let it be, to wallow in it if necessary. Accepting it allows it to feel natural. I am not debilitated by it, so why not leave it alone? I suspect that one morning I'll wake up and realize that I'm not feeling sad. True, it might take the removal of 45 from office for that day to come, but I'll wait for it.

And you thought I could get through a blog post without a reference to the political nightmare we are living in! Always sad.