Anxiety
How do you always get the best of me?
I'm out here living in a fantasy
I can't enjoy a goddamn thing
Anxiety
Why am I never where I'm supposed to be?
Even with my lover sleeping close to me
I'm wide awake and I'm in pain
Watching the sunrise slash through the blinds
Dust in the room hovers over mine
Lying here in silence
Wife and child still sleeping deep enough to dream
And oh, I'm a lucky man today
But so afraid that time will take it all from me
Anxiety . . .
It's the weight of the world but it's nothing at all
Light as a prayer, and then I feel myself fall
You got to give me a minute because I'm way down in it
And I can't breathe so I can't speak
I want to be strong and steady, always ready
Now I feel so small, I feel so weak
Anxiety . . .
A crowded room is a burning battlefield
If I don't move, I'll come undone
My heart beats harder, a hammer striking steel
Will I walk now or be a "wait and run"?
Anxiety . . .
~ Jason Isbell and Amanda Shires
"I just worry too much," Jason Isbell said about this song. It's interesting that my son said the same thing to me yesterday and further stated that he inherited that character trait from me. I immediately blamed my grandmother for my propensity to worry. "Anxiety" appears on That Nashville Sound, released a few months ago. And Jason Isbell and his wife Amanda Shires and the rest of The 400 Unit appeared last night at Red Rocks Amphitheatre overlooking Denver, Colorado. And I was there, absolutely anxiety-free, at least for one night.
I am sometimes disappointed when a band sounds the same live as they do on their studio recordings. (The Eagles are a good example of that. Unless crazy Joe Walsh is front and center, there's no spontaneity. You might just as well avoid the traffic, stay home, and put on a CD.) Now, Jason Isbell sounds as good live as he does on his recordings, but somehow, I don't find that tedious. He's just that damn good, and the music is so powerful, you become entranced with the performance. It can't be matched by a CD in your living room.
And that's how last night's performance went. Amanda Shires' violin was pivotal to the power of the music, and the rest of The 400 Unit backed Isbell up flawlessly. It was an amazing show, and I was so grateful to be with Sam and Andrea on a beautiful Colorado night with an almost-full moon rising over us. The beer was damn good, too.
So of all of Isbell's setlist last night, why did I pick a song called "Anxiety," for goodness sake? Well, because anxiety seems to be what many of us have been feeling lately. We've become weary of the post-election anxiety, exacerbated by "that Rusher thing" and the ongoing escalating tension with North Korea. And now, we have Mother Nature adding to our stress. The Houston flooding wasn't bad enough, we now have this monster Irma threatening to annihilate the entire state of Florida and then some. I saw a headline this morning about an earthquake in Mexico and a possible resulting tsunami, just as I was adjusting to coming down from last night's concert. Enough already!
Yes, I have a condo in Florida. No, I am not there. And there isn't a damn thing I can do about what may or may not happen to it.
"So much of anxiety, or any of those off-shoots of fear, they deal in confusion," says Isbell. Once you clear up the confusion regarding whatever it is you are worrying about, you can see a pathway clear to dealing with the source of the anxiety. I know that right now, part of our anxiety about Irma is not knowing exactly where and how it is going to hit. We're confused and anxious because of our fear of the unknown. We may end up longing for these times of confusion once the reality of the event is known.
For now, aside from checking my newsfeed and The Weather Channel every ten minutes, I think I will choose to dwell on a particularly enjoyable evening of great music, fantastic scenery, good beer, and people I love. Thanks, Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit for the break from anxiety.
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