See myself in black and white
It isn't done, it isn't right
See it there before my eyes
It's a sorry song, a sorry sight
You sunk your teeth, you're in me deep
I couldn't sing, I couldn't sleep
Beat your chest with both your hands
For all I was, for all I am, all I am
. . .
Well, I can bite my lips, I can chew my hair
But I'm still stone heavy and unprepared
Like an empty chair, I was always there
Black and white, it isn't right
To hold me down and bleed me dry
Cut the ties that keep me up all night
Or make me see myself in black and white
~ The Staves
I watched a documentary titled Austin to Boston on Netflix the other night. It covers a road trip taken in 2015 by a group of performers that took part in the SXSW festival. Ben Howard, Nathaniel Rateliff, Bear's Den, and The Staves . . . all artists that I've enjoyed listening to. They piled into five VW camper vans and headed north on a two-week adventure, performing along the way under the common name Communion. I liked the film a lot and recommend it. Well done, Marcus Heany.
The Staves is an English folk-rock trio of sisters, known for their gorgeous harmonies. "Black & White," released on If I Was in 2015, is, I think, the first Staves song I heard. I admit to having grown a bit tired of it, but if The Staves are new to you, it's a good sample of their harmonies and their power. (I am still hoping that, in my next life, I can sing.)
Like an empty chair, I was always there. Now that's the kind of line I like! I mean, you have to stop and think about it, don't you? If there's a chair in a room and nobody sits in it, is it still a chair? Ha! And if she's "always there," why doesn't she just sit down? Problem solved.
And the concept of black and white is so compelling. Some of you remember when television was in black and white. I can still recall the first time I saw color TV (at someone else's house). It was a baseball game, and the grass was green. I don't remember who was playing, but I can still see the green field. The Wizard of Oz? I think I was an adult before I even knew that the movie is in black and white until Dorothy lands in Oz.
When I was a little one, never getting enough of Merrie Melody cartoons, I was fascinated and terrified by a cartoon that featured a little pig who was literally a pig. I mean, he was a pig who loved to pig out, always stealing food from his brother and sister pigs. In the cartoon, he falls asleep and has a nightmare that he is strapped to a mechanical chair and force-fed food until he is ready to burst. Of course, you think that when he wakes up from the dream, he will stop being so piggish. No! There was no lesson learned! Cartoons could get away with stuff like that back in the day!
Anyway, my point in retelling that cartoon is that I watched it in black and white. Last year, I tracked it down on the Internet and was beyond stunned that it was in color! It was so disconcerting. It was as if I had to go back and rewrite my entire childhood! I cannot clearly articulate the effect this reality had on me. Sometimes black and white IS right!
Anyway, here's a pic of little cartoon-loving me. In black and white, of course.
As I remember you in kindergarten.
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