Putting on old clothes in a new way
Putting on a pose of a new stage
Waking up every day just a little bit changed
As it breaks over us like waves
Long live beauty, short live pain
Lust for wonder, and hunger pain
Face your fears, not your shame
'Cause in the end, it just wears away
Leave the lights on
'Cause it might be nighttime when I get there
And I'm on my way home
~ C. Porterfield (Field Report)
If you visited this space yesterday, you can understand that I am a bit emotionally overwhelmed by my visit with a friend who is facing what we all we face eventually. And part of that exhaustion is due to the fact that I will probably never see him again. But despite the heartache, I feel good about having made the trip, and the memory of my visit will stay with me strong for the next several days. While you are reading this, I will be making the long drive home, turning the music up and down, scanning the GPS for clues, shifting uncomfortably in my seat, and munching on a granola bar and an apple. I will have one goal in mind: home.
Field Report's sophomore album, Marigolden, came out in August 2014. I fell in love with "Home" immediately. The opening verse is beautifully written, but it makes references to Christmas tinsel, so I jumped right to the second verse for this post. In an interview in which he discusses the song, Porterfield says, "When you're on the road, it's a total personal recalibration as opposed to coming home." Now of course he's talking about being "on the road" as in "touring with the band." As much as I have romanticized about that life, I can't even carry a tune, so when I talk of being "on the road," it's a reference to driving from Point A to Point B. But despite how tired I am right now, the metaphor does not escape me. I listened carefully when Cat Stevens told us that we were "on the road to find out." And whichever road you are on, you should wake up every day just a little bit changed.
I can say that I woke up changed today. And it broke over me like waves.
There's another line in the song that I find compelling. The body remembers what the mind forgets. I think the more predictable line would be its opposite, but I like the deliberate reversal. I just like the whole song. And I'm on my way home.
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